Love bombing might look like someone constantly complimenting you or wanting to be around you, dramatic professions of love and devotion, or bombarding you with grand gestures or expensive gifts. It can be hard to spot because it looks and feels similar to what many people want in relationships: to feel loved and adored. Love bombing can sometimes be mistaken for the honeymoon stage of a relationship, but the two have some distinct differences. “In the honeymoon phase, love is shown by a desire to focus on what the other person likes or is interested in,” Spinelli tells mbg. “Gestures tend to be thoughtful and not with an intent to impress.” Love-bombers, on the other hand, will shower their partner with attention and expect recognition from them and others. “Love bombing is also about control, creating dependency and idealization,” Spinelli adds. “The honeymoon phase is about exhilarated burgeoning feelings of a new relationship.” Importantly, the gifts are less about making the recipient happy and more about making them feel obligated to stay connected to the giver. “Love bombing goes hard and fast,” Spinelli says. “Things will move faster than they should, which is a huge red flag.” This is especially indicative of love bombing if the feelings are not mutual. Eventually, the gifts, attention, and compliments will be replaced with gaslighting and criticism, Spinelli says. “You can also communicate firmly you do not want to rush into things and walk away from the relationship if your requests are not respected,” she adds. Confiding in a support system can also be critical. Friends, family members, support groups, and licensed therapists can help you understand what type of person you’re dealing with and how to appropriately respond, Spirit says. “If you think you’re being love bombed, focus on getting support for yourself, not the other person.” If you are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. For anonymous and confidential help, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224) and speak with a trained advocate for free as many times as you need. They’re available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can also speak to them through a live private chat on their website.
