A “bad” relationship is different from an abusive relationship (if there are signs of physical or emotional abuse, that’s a different situation and requires a specific action plan), but the unhealthy dynamics in a more gray but still less-than-ideal relationship can still be seriously detrimental to a person’s well-being. That’s why they’re sometimes called toxic relationships. Relationships are a complex interplay of deeper dynamics too extensive to discuss, but let’s touch on some basic points that can help you navigate this delicate situation without alienating your loved one when they need you most. One conversation is more than enough. A million repetitive statements will do nothing other than belittle and alienate the person you care about. It’s important to avoid attacking their significant other. Doing this will risk putting your loved one on the defensive and potentially push him or her deeper into that relationship. If you really care about someone, then your personal relationship with that person should be prioritized above your dislike of their partner or their relationship. After all, their relationship could end tomorrow. You were there before, and you’ll be there long after. You could be their lifeline back to sanity, so don’t cut the rope. If you see unhealthy patterns continuing from relationship to relationship, it’s OK to point that out gently and make further suggestions like therapy, to encourage them to get to the root of the problem. But it’s about timing and delivery. Most importantly, make sure the person in question knows that your love is unconditional, and you will love them despite the mistakes they make. That is what real love is all about, and that is beautiful. Hold onto it and don’t let it go.
