You might even immediately identify with the word because you prefer staying in with a good book rather than going out. But those associations tend to be a rather simplistic view of introversion. According to him, one of the easiest ways to spot an introvert is by the way they recharge their social battery. Introverts, he said, prefer to be in minimally stimulating environments and tend to go inward to recharge, while extroverts are re-energized from interacting with others. Introverts also tend to have a low social desire and often withdraw from social activity. Many researchers have since tried to clarify the definition of introversion. In 2011, research by psychologists Jennifer Grimes, Jonathan Cheek, and Julie Norem broke introversion into four main types: social introvert, thinking introvert, anxious introvert, and restrained introvert. “Social introverts are less interested in large gatherings or parties,” Anthony Freire, LMHC, NCC, CCMHC, a licensed psychotherapist and the clinical director of The Soho Center for Mental Health Counseling in New York, tells mbg. He also notes that it’s easy to confuse a social introvert with someone who’s dealing with social anxiety, but it’s not the same thing: “A social introvert doesn’t avoid crowds because of anxiety but rather [because of] their preference. Where they feel the most comfortable and happy is either in complete solitude or in small groups in more subdued places.” “Because introverts are very analytical, a social introvert should follow their intuition when they meet someone. They should focus on going to places they enjoy and skip the small talk,” therapist Ibinye Osibodu-Onyali, LMFT, tells mbg. RELATED: 5 Telltale Introvert Characteristics & Traits, From Psychology Experts The thinking introvert will often pause to cogitate before offering a response to a question. “Let me think about that” can be a very common response for the thinking-type introvert. Manly says introverts of this type are prone to getting lost in their thoughts and may actually mentally “disappear” from conversations due to a retreat into the mental world. Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of Introvert Power, also notes that thinking introverts are sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they’re such good listeners: “People may mistake the receptive attitude of these introverts as an invitation to talk more, when their silence may, in fact, be a pause to think,” she says. This type of introvert shrinks away from people and settings that may further stimulate anxiety. The “anxious” introvert can be highly avoidant and even seem rude, yet the “turning inward” behavior is simply a protective, sheltering defense mechanism at work. You’ll likely find anxious introverts at home because of nervousness or fear, usually catastrophizing events before they happen, which ultimately prevents them from stepping out of their comfort zones. But dating as an anxious introvert isn’t impossible: They tend to do well-being introduced by close friends or even with dating a close friend. “When it’s time to go out on dates, they should stick to what makes them comfortable,” she recommends. “Pick dates that focus on you and your partner, make it enjoyable, and don’t push yourself too far outside of your comfort zone.” But rather than seeming shy or avoidant, they simply come off as thoughtful and grounded. “The restrained introvert tends to be reflective and even plodding in nature. Often unemotional, this type of introvert is often very controlled and may have very grounded energy,” Manly says. “This type of introvert is often steadfast and very rock-like in nature. The restrained-type introvert is often the quiet, dutiful person that others tend to rely on.” Manly says the restrained introvert will likely keep personal information close to their chest until they’re more comfortable in the relationship, which may take longer than usual because of the sluggish approach. “The restrained introvert is likely to thrive in the realms of stability, thoughtfulness, and self-reflection,” she says. “Although it may sound as if a person with this nature is boring, a restrained introvert can be extremely fun-loving and passionate.” Introverts prefer to be in minimally stimulating environments and recharge best on their own or in select company. Social anxiety is a fear of social situations because we believe we aren’t competent enough and that everyone is evaluating all the minutiae of our performance. So we avoid these situations, leading us to feel more helpless about our social skills. Mental Health America states that introversion is related to social energy, while social anxiety is a mental health condition related to fear of social interactions. The type with the most bullet points you resonate with is likely the type that you are. If you find yourself always needing to step away from the group chat to think about (or overthink) your next response, you could be a thinking introvert. Is your most relaxed state filled with lingering anxiety and nervous energy? You could be more of an anxious introvert. There are many ways introverts can have a good social life, succeed in the workplace, and date successfully. Understanding how you show up in the world and what you require to recharge can only help you along the way.
