If your desire is interfering with your ability to focus in daily life, here are a few potential causes and how to get that sexual energy out. Lots of lifestyle factors and bodily processes are associated with increases in testosterone, such as regular exercise1, ovulation, or hitting puberty2, among many others. While testosterone is linked to libido, naturopathic doctor and sexologist Jordin Wiggins, N.D., says it’s more nuanced than that. Both estrogen and progesterone also affect libido. “Estrogen is more clearly linked with physiological arousal (blood flow to the genitals, vaginal lubrication),” certified relationship and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST, tells mbg. Beyond that, Wiggins says it’s also important to look at the hormones that contribute to pleasure, connection, and arousal, like dopamine and oxytocin. These hormones tend to be flaring when we’re at the height of romance3, which is why libido can sometimes seem higher at the start of a new relationship. The substance is a “natural amphetamine manufactured by the brain in response to the feeling of love,” she says. “And PEA is believed to be responsible for that hormonal rush during sex.” Research is still inconclusive as to how effective aphrodisiacs really are for increasing libido, but some common aphrodisiacs like oysters, avocados, and omega-3 fats do contain vitamins and minerals that support overall health, including hormone health and therefore sexual health. This may be because alcohol increases testosterone in people with vaginas but then decreases genital responsiveness6, making it more difficult to orgasm. The physiological effects aside, the lowered inhibitions sometimes produced by alcohol can also simply make people more open to sex than they ordinarily would be when sober. So, the more someone engages in sexual activity of any kind, including masturbation, the easier it is to become physiologically aroused. More directly, Wiggins says, “It can also increase the release of hormones, like dopamine and testosterone.” And while masturbating is often a solo sport, it can also help to increase pleasure with a partner. “Individuals who masturbate often know what they like and how to communicate it to their partner so, therefore, report greater satisfaction in relationships and better intimacy and sexual communication,” Wiggins says. Reproductive endocrinologist Sheeva Talebian, M.D., explains that both testosterone and estrogen peak during ovulation (about 14 days before the period), and the influx of both hormones tends to heighten sex drive. During the period, OB/GYN and integrative women’s health expert Suzanne Gilberg-Lenz, M.D., says there is an increase in blood flow to the pelvic and genital regions. Similar to an increased blood flow to the penis during an erection, blood flow to the vagina may increase desire. (And yes, it is generally safe to have sex during your period.) Unless a doctor or OB/GYN advises against sex and orgasms while pregnant, it’s perfectly safe to engage. If sex becomes uncomfortable further into your pregnancy, you may need to try a different position. For heterosexual couples, Trubow recommends having the woman lie on her side with the male partner behind her. For two female partners, the pregnant person will probably still be more comfortable on her side, Trubow says, but her partner doesn’t have to be behind. Because the clitoris, vagina, and urethra are all so close to one another, a full bladder can put pressure on the genitals and stimulate arousal. The placement of these body parts, unfortunately, also increases the risk of developing UTIs from sex. Changes in mood triggered by seasonal changes can also affect sex drive. “If you are someone who has seasonal depression, you may also notice a drop in libido during these times,” Wiggins says. “Women with low sexual desire are far more likely to experience symptoms of depression9 than women who do not have low sexual desire, highlighting how closely linked mental health and libido really are,” she says. While most people associate seasonal affective disorder with winter, the symptoms can also occur in the summertime. According to psychiatrist Roxanna Namavar, D.O., seasonal affective disorder is a response to the drastic change in weather and sunlight—which occurs both at the end of fall and the end of spring. A few common factors that can turn someone on in the moment are new relationships, erotically charged situations, or people you find attractive: Some people will naturally have a higher sex drive than others, which is only a problem if it’s distracting or disruptive for the particular individual experiencing it. “Being too horny is a thing when it becomes a problem for you and causes difficulties in your life,” clinical sexologist and sex therapist Cyndi Darnell tells mbg. If that’s the case, some of the methods for releasing sexual energy below can help, as can speaking with a reputable sexuality professional. Not all experts agree that it’s a real condition, and it is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). Likewise, the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists states that there’s not enough empirical evidence to support the existence of “sex addiction.” All that said, if your experiences around sexuality and desire feel distressing or out of control, it’s worth reaching out to a sex therapist or other sexuality professional for support. “It is understood that out-of-control sexual behavior12, as referred to by skilled professionals, is a thing, but it’s not a disease as such,” Darnell says. “It’s about a balanced relationship with sexuality, pleasure, values, and emotions.” There are many other health benefits of masturbation, too. Some people use meditation as a way of getting the effects of masturbation without doing it. It may also be important to get help if you’re engaging in risky sexual behaviors that could have a potentially damaging impact on your health, Stray Conger adds. One of the biggest hang-ups for people who feel horny often is shame. According to Megwyn White, certified clinical sexologist and director of education at Satisfyer, this shame is often due to a stigma around the topic of sexuality and masturbation. A sexuality professional can also support you in working through these negative feelings so you can feel more at peace with yourself. “It’s important to recognize that it’s totally normal when you feel horny,” White says, noting that feeling horny is just your body sending you a message about what it wants and what feels good. Unless your high libido is interfering with your daily life, there’s nothing wrong with those sexual urges.
